Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Ask Alton Anything

 Alton Brown is on his Edible Inevitable Tour, and this weekend he will be in Cerritos with his cow:

Image: Alton Brown

I stumbled upon an Ask Me Anything he hosted on Reddit about 4 months ago and to gear up for the show, here are some highlights of the thread.

Redditor: Is there anyone within the Food Network confines that you could not/cannot stand?
Alton Brown: Hell yes

R: Have you considered bringing something like good eats to a webisode format?
AB: Yes...in fact, we're doing that right now.

R: What do you make for dinner after a long tiring day at work?
AB: reservations

R: What is the one food that Food Network would not let you make an episode of Good Eats about, that you wanted to do the most?
AB: Food Network has always been very supportive of me and they've let me get away with a lot but when I said "sweetbreads" they said "no." Same with rabbit.

R: What did you think of the south park episode "Creme Fraiche"
AB: Pinacle of comedic genius. Though i would never rub a pork loin with butter.

R: You appear on several shows (Iron Chef America, Next Iron Chef, Next Food Network Star) as the food guru. Have you ever wanted a role as a competitor? Do you ever hang out with other Food Network stars? If so, what do you do? If not, what do you do for fun?
AB:I have no desire to compete...I'm just not that kind of guy...not that way at least. I don't hang out with Food Network stars because, well...I don't really fit in with the big "A" list stars and the young folk think I'm old. So, I'm kinda on a "C" list all by myself, which is perfectly fine.
As for fun...I'll get back to you.

 R: Where do you buy your bow ties at?
AB: All over. In fact I have a line of bow ties coming out with a great company called Hook & Albert.

R: Who is your favorite Iron Chef?
AB: The one who brings me a cocktail during the battle.

R: What is the strangest food you've ever made/ate?
AB: Curried lamb eyes [shudders]

R: What did you think about going to the strip club with Anthony Bourdain?
AB: If I had a time machine....I would so take that one back. I've never been more uncomfortable in my life.

R: I hope you have the slightest inkling of how many nerds you have gotten laid because they learned how to cook because of you.
AB: Pretty freakin awesome ain't it.

R: Im defending my PhD in chemistry next year. Partially thanks to you AB.
AB: Defending? Is someone trying to steal it?

R: What do you think of the recent Amy's Baking Company issue?
AB: LEAVE ME ALONE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME. YOU COME DONW HERE AND CALL ME THAT!!!! YOU'RE MEAN! WE WILL STAND TOGETHER AND DEFEAT ALL YOU MONSTERS! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FOOD! WE WILL OVERCOME YOU MURDEROUS....
(funny and sad and...well)


 R: Last meal. Death row. What's it gonna be?
AB: Duck confit because it takes 3 days to make.

R: If it were possible, would you ever want to cook in space for the astronauts on the ISS?
AB: To cook in space is my dream...absolute dream.

R: Is there any food trend going on that just makes you roll your eyes?
AB: I don't understand the whole "raw" thing. I'm pretty sure that learning to use fire gave us the ability to seriously up our dietary game and made us what we are...apex predators on planet Earth.

 R: Alton, you are one sexy, smart man, and I just want to say, keep doing what you do. Muah!
AB: Thanks. I hope your eyes get better soon. (Don't scratch them till the pads come off).

R: How did you come up with the idea for Good Eats?
AB: Just staring at the wall actually.

R: Can you tell us a little bit about what you plan to do on tour?
AB: Live food songs...outrageous food demos, puppets, multi media presentations...puppets, Q+A. Ponchos.

R: Ever been fired from a cooking gig?
AB: Nope...fired though from a bus boy job because I was underage.

R: Who would win in a fist fight to the death, bobby flay or Guy fieri
AB: Bobby Flay, hands down. Dude is tough, wiry, determined. No contest.

R: Alton would you tell us briefly about your faith and how that has impacted your career?
AB: I'm a Christian. It impacts everything.

R: How do you typically deal with fans on the street? I saw you in soho a few years ago and you were incredibly dismissive of anyone who approached you.
AB: I don't think that's true. First off I usually don't notice when someone approaches me because I tend to be a bit of a goof. But I have never ever blown off a fan in the street...ever. If I'm with my family I may move fast but I've never been dismissive. I'm calling you out on this.